The final act of kindness you can leave your family, friends, and other meaningful people in your life is a written, specific list of exactly what you want at the end of your life.

Do you want to be buried? If so, where? Dressed in what? Do you prefer a headstone or marker? Is cremation preferable to you? How do you want your cremated remains handled – an urn, a niche or multiple vessels?  What facility do you want to conduct the procedures for your burial or cremation? Have you pre-paid for either of these services?

Would you like to have a public announcement made? If so, in print or digitally, and in what publications? Writing your own obituary is a good way to be remembered the way you want, and to acknowledge the people for whom you care.

Would you like contributions to be made to favored charities in your memory? If so, which ones? Do you want flowers? What kind, and how do you want them distributed after your service? Have you selected the music you would like to serve as a background to comfort and support your mourners?

What type of final service do you want, if any? A celebration in a park, at a beach, or on a mountain? Or a traditional service in a church, synagogue or mosque? Have you designated the site or venue?

Will you have a video reflecting your life at your service? If so, select in advance the pictures by which you most want to be remembered and provide them in digital format.

Planning for your death won’t make you dead, and can greatly relieve the stress of these decisions at a most difficult time for those you leave behind.